Forty years ago, my parents invited some guests to their wedding dinner and others to only the reception after dinner as an attempt to include people and stay within their budget. In return they got sympathy cards from two guests who did not agree with this approach.

This week a client received an evite to crash a friend’s wedding.

The evite read:

“As we both have large families… we weren’t able to invite you to the wedding…. but you can come and “crash” the wedding around 9:30pm. In fact, we encourage it! By then, the bar will be a cash bar and the older generation will be on their way home to go to sleep! We would love for you to join the new Mr. & Mrs. XXXX!”

In this economy, it’s much more acceptable to not invite 300 people to your wedding. Controlling your guest list is the best way to manage your budget. Your casual friends and colleagues understand. They are though sometimes the people you spend most of your waking hours with, they are often privy to the wedding planning details or perhaps you have become fond of someone new just recently. Crashing might be the route to go. Personally, I love this idea and think it’s great from both perspectives. Chances are, if we work together, I may not want to spend my entire Saturday with people from work, or eating chicken and making small talk with your aunt Estelle. I would though love to come by later for a cocktail and wedding cake. I want to dance with your cute cousin from London, meet your crazy college roommate, see you in your dress and check out the flowers you’ve been agonizing over for months.

What are your thoughts?