“Does spit clean better than water?” a young son asks his mother. “You always use it to clean my face.” As adults so many of us don’t ask enough about our mothers. There is no better way to become closer to a person, even if you’ve known her all your life.

I found this article in May’s Real Simple. It inspired me and I plan to share this with my mom later today. What a perfect day to initiate a thoughtful, honest, and real conversation with your mom, mother in-law or another woman special to you. Let me know what you learn, something interesting could be revealed.

1. What is the one thing you would have done differently?

2. Why did you choose to be with my father?

3. In what ways do you think I am like you? And not like you?
Accuracy is not as important here; you want to know her perceptions.

4. Which one of us kids did you like the best?
She’ll likely dodge the question, but this might force a compliment out of her.

5. Is there anything you have always wanted to tell me but never have?

6. Do you think it’s easier or harder to be a mother now than when you were raising our family? Understanding what she went through, you may appreciate your own situation more.

7. Is there anything you regret not having asked your parents?

8. What is the best thing I can do for you right now? One mom answered, “Call everyday. If you don’t, I think you are dead.”

9. Is there anything that you wish had been different between us-or that you would still like to change? Give her a chance to put it out there.

10. When did you realize you were no longer a child?

Thanks to the author Judith Newman for letting me share this article.